The easiest way is to just be blunt about it. Your not settling and that fat chicks are what you're into. Even if they can't wrap their head around it everyone knows what a chubby chaser is.

>>78308 Ur right, I should stand by my woman and my attraction to her instead of just letting people think im settling for less. They think i can do better but I already have what I want

Family has spoken up saying they are concerned about her weight given the basic tasks she cannot do with ease.

>>78316 I feel that. My gf got a job that keeps her standing all day and works out once in a while so shes actually gotten alot more capable lately so I think my family just literally hates that she has a belly.

>>78316 My family was the same way with my ex (mid-300s). Not out of anti-fat sentiment, but genuine concern about her health. I had a relative whose knees ended up basically being bum due to the sheer amount of pressure his weight put on them on a day-to-day basis. She had medical issues which were already straining her knees to a point where even a quarter-mile walk could an impossibility, depending on the day. Nothing to say of how a number of relatively minor tasks felt like major endeavors due to a combination of physical and mental issues.

I have the other problem. My family is too rehearsed. They had to notice she was bigger this Christmas, I wish I got a tiny indication though. I mean, I don’t want them to say anything to make her feel bad, but I would’ve enjoyed seeing their expression break for just a second while looking at her stomach or something. Her mom is starting to get a little prematurely senile though, but I’m hoping a comment might pop out one day

when i was 16 i had the first serious gf i ever had and before my mom met her I said look mom she is a heavier girl so don't be surprised or caught off guard- its just what I'm into. Nobody ever said a thing. But I did also come from a family of larger women so, it was probably just seen as normal.

My mum has always been very judgemental towards fat people and makes comments about them when she sees them along the lines of "how could anyone let themselves get like that" and "They are killing themselves" It ruined my confidence for a long time and I was never confident enough to bring any heavier women home and any potential girlfriends she would make comments about Well jokes on her because as soon as I left home I ended up way fatter than any of those women she shamed. Then after enduring years of mean comments about my weight, the shame went away and I brought home a bbw (around 300 lb). She never made a comment about her weight once - she's always too busy focusing it on me. Life hack.

Every now and again when I catch a glimpse of certain fat women, if my mom is with me she'll say "TOO BIG". I've clapped back at her a few times with "Not your choice", "I'm the one who has to find her attractive". I've also received many comments from my family about they don't want me dating/marrying any woman who could be a candidate for 600lb life.

My family don't even bring up my girlfriend's weight. They just love her, I swear my grandmother likes my girlfriend more than the old dear likes me! Granted, they are also encouraging about her trying to lose weight, but I think that's A-OK. If we hit the gym and we get an extra thirty years together because we're both in better shape, that's worth more than going, "cor what a lovely fatty."

Gen Xer here so I came up in a fatphobic society. No such thing as SA/BP and it was open season on fat people in the media — truly the last allowable prejudice. My mom was a classic Boomerexic, proud of how little she ate and she'd point out every fat person with disgust and/or ridicule. My dad was less overt about it but made his fatphobia known here and there. Meanwhile I was basically born an FA, hiding "before" pics from tabloids under my mattress, drawing fat women compulsively, mooning over Mamas and Papas album covers lol and so on. My first GF was in junior high. She was fat for the early 80s but "curvy" now. I was terrified to tell my mom about her or bring her around. Then one day my mom dropped me off at a friend's house and my GF was out front with a couple other friends. She ran up and hugged me before my mom left. I figured I'd get some kind of blowback when I came home but my mom was shockingly cool. Some light teasing — "I didn't know you had a girlfriend", etc but nothing about her weight. Later on my mom soured on her but that's because she thought she was trashy lol, never said anything about her being fat. That said, she continued making comments about other fat people so I was still a bit on edge. A few years later I had my first real GF. She was the second fattest girl in our class, which back then translated to 5'2" and 180 or so. Again I was worried I'd get blowback or they'd treat her badly but no, everything was cool. We dated for two years, went out to dinner with my parents (separately, they were divorced) and so on and there were never any issues. Both complimented her on her looks (she was actually very pretty), and my dad told me privately he thought she was hot lol. (Yes, she was 16-17 at the time. Boomers.) I did take some shit from friends when we first started dating but then when the relationship got more serious they backed off and she became "one of the guys." Granted, teen boys will pounce on pretty much anything and I dished out my share of insults, appearance-based stuff as well. I went to a very liberal college where even in the 90s no one would dare insult or ostracise someone over weight. I had a close friend at the time who told me my being an FA was related to low self esteem, which kind of sucked, but otherwise I can't remember friends ever having an issue with my partners. Ten years later my wife was the next woman I brought home and she was much bigger than the others, 5'3" and 230-260. There were no big issues but a few minor ones. My wife picked up on my mom's incessant diet talk, which I explained was normal for her, sadly, though my wife insisted it seemed kind of pointed. Unfortunately I didn't take it seriously until the first Thanksgiving we had together, at my mom's house, where my mom served her notably smaller portions than anyone else (except herself). My wife later told me this was backed up by more diet and "health" talk. Granted, she'd gained a bunch of weight the year prior so she was extra-sensitive herself but still, it was obvious. The next day I took my mom aside and told her to cool it. Of course she insisted she was being normal with her, and that "women generally eat less," but she got the message. We were married seven more years and there was no more BS from my mom. There have been fat partners since then and while my mom hasn't met them, she's seen pics and will say "very pretty" and so on. No insults. And FWIW, with societal changes recently where fatphobia has been elevated to bigotry like racism and homophobia, she's toned her shit WAY down. I haven't heard her comment on someone's size in years at this point. Dad was super-cool throughout, though once he realized the pattern with my partners he would joke around with me here and there. Thing is we're more like friends as adults so it's like the ballbusting male friends do with each other, and never directed towards a specific person in my life. More like we'd be walking down the street and my dad would see a fat woman and say "there's one for you." I think he's actually kind of fascinated by it but it's too awkward to bring up directly. So I guess the moral of the story is that despite their rhetoric my parents put my comfort and happiness and that of my partners over their own prejudices. I imagine people say shit behind my back but that's their business. I do the same lol.

>>78335 Ive dated or at least talked to a good few fat girls in my time but out of fear I never brought any of them home or let them meet my friends and family until I met my current gf. Im honestly just amazed by how many of my fears and worries from my teenage years came true exactly. None of its gonna be enough to shake me but it got me curious how other people handled their relationships. Shes not the biggest girl ive been with but it mostly annoys me that every time someone talks down to me for thinking shes hot theyre shit talking her just as much. I can handle it but i don't know how much she can take. I do have a few supportive friends but I think I just happen to have alot of fat phobic people around me. Maybe my family will come around but at the moment they're actively trying to split us up over her size alone which is crazy to me. Im glad your parents came around to support you maybe mine will someday too

>>78303 Not in a relationship, but Im pretty open about my preferences to my mother about women, im 20 for context. I've never explicitly said i like big women, just told her I like thiccness . Anyway, she doesn't seem to care just wants to see me happy, and hasn't ever really said anything negative about plus-sized people. So I guess im in a winning situation

>>78303 >>78310 >>78318 >>78340 You owe us pictures bro. We cannot determine without them

>>78349 Can't, love her too much.

>>78340 Ultimately it's about respect, and IMO trying to break you guys up over her weight is unacceptable — worthy of suspending or ending contact until they start treating you and your partner better. I'm very serious about this. I don't know your intentions with her, whether you want to go the distance, but if she sees you can't stand up to your parents in defending her she's never gonna trust you and it's gonna ultimately hurt the relationship. Same goes with friends. It's one thing to be fat phobic — I've had fat partners say blatantly fatphobic shit — but if they insult your partner, or you for being into them, then that's a big red line. I'm not saying cut them off forever but make your feelings known, then stick to it. Unfortunately some people need to be trained, like dogs.

>>78577 Thats good advice. I plan on going all the way with the relationship so I need to not listen to the people hating. Ive already had to spend the few days since I made this thread defending her and comforting her over the whole thing so I think im headed in the right direction.

My gf was slightly over 2x my weight and 2" taller when we started dating and the gap has lessened since I've put on close to 30 lbs. I don't know what the reaction at home is going to be when I bring her home one day. Not like they'd tell me to end things with her or something but I hope no one makes any snarky comments. Half my family being doctors doesn't help.

Looking at it from the other direction, I've always wondered what my sons think of having a 350+ lb mom and if any of their friends have commented on her being so fat.

>>79498 At least one of your sons friends has a secret crush on your wife and she may even be their awakening

>>79504 Doubt that (given their choices to date), but they certainly would be genetically predisposed to loving fat women.

I feel your struggle.I was always too scared to ask a fat girl out, because as a shy and introvert person, the last thing I wanted to do was stand out from the crowd and being out of the norm. That's also why I stayed single for a long time. When I finally met and got together with my first girlfriend, my family and friends were of course anxious to see her. I immediately got those comments from my mom that she was big, and that I could do "better". She kept on making comments from time to time and remained negative about her. I think also one of my friends made some comments. Now, she had BPD and my family and friends were right that she was not good for me, but at some point it is difficult to differentiate between them being negative about her because of her appearance or because of her character. When I finally divorced her, their was a sigh a relief from my mom (and me!), but soon after she commented that she was glad that we divorced and that she knows that I don't mind if a woman is a bit bigger, but that she hoped that my next girlfriend would not be so big (she was about 5"5' and 300 lbs / 1.68m & 135 kg at her peak). That's when I told my mom very firmly that she could be glad for the divorce because she was an evil person, and that she can comment (within reason) if she really thinks someone is not right for me, but that what my girlfriend looks like is my choice, that I prefer that they are a bit bigger and that I don't want her to comment on that ever. My next gf was less big, but still BBW, but also had some mental issues (mainly depression). I could tell that my mom was not always happy with my choice, but she never made any comment. My current wife was quite big as well, but well educated, respectful job and mentally stable and my family really embraced her without comments. With regards to my friends: I have one really alpha male friend who is very vocal about his taste of women, and I think he may have made some comments in the beginning about my first gf, and she could feel how he didn't like her, but then again I can't really blame them for not liking her, I was just too binded myself. But shortly after me, another friend in our group showed up with a big gf and by now this alpha male has just accepted that his to closest friends just like a totally different type of women than he does. Long story short: tell your family and friends that they need to back off. They should judge her by who she is, not what she looks like. Tell them you like what you like, and that is some softness to cuddle. If they love you, they should be happy that you are happy, even if it is not their ideal.

>>79504 Seriously. When I was a kid, I absolutely remember the classmate with the fat mom. At Cub Scout events she’d chaperone, I used to keep tabs on where she was and would choose where stood in the group so I had a view of her lumbering around. I also remember all the parents discussing a potluck after the pinewood derby or some shit, and going a little crazy inside because there was a part where she was telling the others what food she was planning on bringing. I think I finally even asked the kid if they had a bigger toilet at home, which he didn’t seem to mind answering (no).