I don't see the dilemma here?? You have a personal preference for your girl to be bigger and she *knows* you like people larger, have you asked prior about her gaining just in moderate amounts so that both of you are satisfied or does the fear come from asking the question itself? Honestly, if you're too scared to ask then drop hints and hope she grows accustomed to that type of affection. Don't need to do any shit like dump her over a fetish if she's the one for you or fucking fatten her up like its a poor porn story, just let her know how you feel truly and insist that you love her anyways.

>>80611 Ok in this case I have a serious question, as you‘re from Italy and I know that overweight and obesity has a very negative image there (my fathers family are all fatphobic): are you yourself afraid telling her you want her to gain weight because you are afraid she might leave you or are you afraid that your family or her family will think very negative about this and think you have mental issues?

Obviously I only know you from a few words but you talk a lot about how much she loves you but very little about how much you love her. She's cool with your preference because she doesn't want to lose you, but at some point she'll get jealous — rightfully. You have to look into your heart and figure out how much you really love her, and whether you're gonna be able to deal with her size in the long run. You say her love for you is rare, which is true, but being loved is very powerful and it inspires loyalty, which is not the same as love. If you want something different and you're staying with her because you don't want to break her heart then you have to let her go. Rip the band-aid off and deal with the fall-out. You'll break her heart anyway, eventually, getting wrapped up in fat porn and distancing yourself from her, or cheating. Don't waste 4, 8, 12 years of her life (and yours) if she's not what you need.

>>80615 I agree with this. You got to choose what life path is actually going to make you happy. I chose being out an dating fat women. Honestly, it was the best thing ever in the end because I got to date women that were the whole package. I get it—sexuality isn’t the only important thing. But if you’re really feeling clarity there is a “void” here, I’d address it sooner than later.

In my experience and opinion, this kind of mismatch is a horrible, horrible idea. You think "Oh, we love each other - it'll be okay", but any kind of sexual dissatisfaction just festers, grows, and breeds resentment. It's not sustainable. I've never tried to date a thin woman because of this. My experience is from a fat partner I had poor sexual compatibility with. > that’s honestly rare these days For you, maybe. I don't know what's up with so many people on here having takes like this, but imagine it has a lot more to do with you than with the women you're dating. I can't relate to it at all.

>>80760 Appreciate you sharing this anecdote man. A lot of clear as day virgins flood this forum, so, good to see a normal dude actually say something smart and real. Anyway-- if its alright, would you be able to opine on the fat partner you had that you had poor sexual comparability with? Im sort of dealing with that right now and the situation isnt getting better. Iv been with my fiance for 6 years now (engaged for over a year). She's really pretty, makes such a good impression with my family and we're best friends-truly but god is our sex life bad. She's overweight but not like obese or anything-- and certainly not into this fetish at all. She hates the way i touch her belly during sex. She's not into any of the eating aspects of this. She knows im into this and tolerates it but i know it still bugs her. Idk-- it feels like a perpetual black cloud in that sense. I take lot of blame as im admittedly very off the deep end with this kink. I fantasize about being with a 600 pound hog. I fantasize about feeding that hog to immobility. I feel gross about it sometimes and wish i could just be normal but i feel like i just cant shake this kink. My heart kinda wants to break off our engagement so that i can chase my most disgusting fantasies but my brain keeps saying "you gotta nice thing. she cooks for you. your mother approves. she is smart and has a good career" Im planning to see a therapist to talk this out more with a professional but id love your input if you're still here :)

Sexual attraction is important in a relationship, that is not superficial. If you are an FA, that void is probably not going away and will haunt you and there is probably not much you can do about it. >>80769 >She's overweight but not like obese or anything-- and certainly not into this fetish at all. She hates the way i touch her belly during sex. My ex also hated when I touched her belly. Terrible! I don't mind if they are not into feeding or gaining weight, but at least let me enjoy what you have. Unlike the topic starter, you at least already have (a bit of) what you want. It is just a matter of "getting access" to it.Try to tell her - in a respectful way - that you really love that cute belly, that it is a huge turn on for you. Take the focus off of the weight gain part (unless that is really important to you), but tell her that you really prefer a woman who is a bit softer and that it is a mood killer if you can not touch her there. Maybe compromise on something she loves to do ("If you let me play with your belly, you get to ...). But take it slowly and start in a non-freaky way.

don't make the mistake I did. I have been married for nearly 25 years. Before I was married each woman I dated was smaller and smaller until I got the approval of my mom and friends. With each smaller woman I dated weight gain fetish became more of an aspect to make me interested sexually. I knew before I got married I wouldn't be happy sexually as she was but she was an incredible friend. I had always hoped she would gain weight and kind of hinted at it during the rare times we had sex. 5 years in we had our first child. I hoped she would gain some weight after that. After our fourth child she was only 20lbs bigger than when I married her. We had a big fight where I told her about my sexual preference. The fight lasted for 3 years on and off with some brief marriage counseling. We had sex 1 or 2 times in those 3 years and all the dirty talk that would help get me going was cut off at the request of my wife. It has been nearly 8 years since then. still very good friends but dead sexually. I have stayed faithful to her and she has to me. a big part of me is unhappy and unfulfilled.

>>80769 Hey, sure! I think it was primarily a mismatch of libidos. She was happy with having what I refer to as "fat sex" (e.g. a lot of attention towards her belly), being kept well fed, occasional feedism scenes (e.g. doggy style with a cake - occasional is perfectly satisfying for me), and that was all great. She just did not want to have sex very often, and I really do. Which was torturous, because I found her incredibly attractive and wanted to fuck her all the damn time. I have similar fantasies, but am very okay with not realising them because I'm satisfied with smaller partners (200-300lbs) and light/occasional feedism, and it'd be highly disruptive to the non-sex parts of my/our lives. What I'm not okay with is sexual dissatisfaction. With regard to your situation, I think talking to a professional is a very good idea. They should be able to help you bring some more clarity to your thoughts. But, while what I need to be sexually satisfied seems more moderate than is the case for many here, I absolutely cannot accept a lack of/aversion to "fat sex". It's incredibly off-putting to know that your partner hates the way you find them attractive, doesn't agree, etc. and it makes sex feel horribly restrictive and me like a disgusting pervert (which I am, but for reasons other than liking fat bodies). So far as my opinion goes... after breaking up with the partner I mentioned, I figured a friendship between us worked much better than a romantic/sexual relationship. I expect you'd come around to feeling the same way.

>>80769 And, I should mention that if you do find some sexual satisfaction, you may well find that your fantasies become quite a lot less extreme and/or urgent-feeling. Mine got pretty wild during that relationship.

>>80769 Yeah don’t do this. I know sounds callous, but you’re going to have to happy in a sexless/guilt laden relationship. I dated (and nearly married) someone who resented my sexuality. It’s was hard on both of us. Later I dated women who weren’t that way, and married one who gets it. She ticks most of the other boxes too (fat, smart, pretty, successful, kind, sociable, loving and positive). Best life move ever. There is hope. It’s a false dichotomy that you have to choose someone is physically attractive OR otherwise a good fit.

Nothing. Statistically speaking she'll probably end up getting fat completely on her own. And so will you. Also you live in Italy, so you'd better be buying her pizza.

>>81041 Statements like that are idiotic. People don't all get fat. Will people gain weight as they get older? At best, the answer is somewhere between probably and maybe. I'm in my 50s now, and while most guys / women my age have the middle age spread, we're all mostly 20-50 lbs heavier than in our youth and nobody went from average to fat. (Well, I guess that might depend on your definition of fat. Some people think 10 lbs above a healthy weight is fat, but you are on the wrong website if that is your metric for fat.) Bottom line is if you want someone fat, find someone who is fat already. Don't live with your head in the clouds thinking that your partner is somehow going to magically get fat after they marry you.

>>81069 Nah, bro lives in Italy. He can just buy some pizzas and she'll be like "Mama Mia!"

>>80611 I cheat. As long as you aren't the sort of person who falls on love easily, then I'd suggest you do the same. It sounds like you've got something special with your lady, and with your special interests, you are highly unlikely to find anyone else who ticks even more boxes. I'm speaking from experience here. Married for over 10 years and had more girlfriends and lays than I can remember. I AM lucky that apparently I'm very good looking. I love my wife and we have lots in common, but her libido is getting lower and lower as we get older, and even though we have had several conversations about how sexually dissatisfied I am, nothing changes. She's quite fat, but nowhere near fat enough for me and she wants to lose weight. I made the point that her size was one of the initial attractions to her. Let's me real; if a girl has enormous breasts, catches a husband, then wants a reduction, I call that catfishing, and no husband is gonna be happy with that arrangement. If you're wealthy, just see a fat hooker every now and then, or sign up to a hookup site. Just make sure you're discreet. I've been doing it for a few years now and everyone's happy. P.S: I'm aware I'm an asshole but I can live with what I'm doing for what I put back into our relationship in return.

>>80611 >>80769 >>80810 I think it’s a shitty way to live your life forcing yourself to settle for a girl you are not that physically attracted to just to make your friends and family happy. I could be with a stable minded girl that treats me right but I go for my mentally unstable brained on and off gf because she gains weight and doesn’t mind getting bigger knowing my fetish. She has a lot of cons but I refuse to ever settle for a girl not into gaining weight ever again. Fuck that noise I don’t care how much she loves me. If she isn’t willing to gain weight to keep me then we can just be friends. >>81164 >Let's me real; if a girl has enormous breasts, >catches a husband, then wants a reduction, I >call that catfishing, and no husband is gonna >be happy with that arrangement. Very very well said! Why waste your life being married to a girl that wants to change what you physically find attractive about her? She clearly is only with you for your money if she doesn’t care that you will find her less attractive if she loses weight. That just tells me right there she is planning on leaving you for someone into her being thinner once she gets enough money from you.