>>83322
Dude I really get how you're feeling, it's not easy living with this.
I am in the same situation as you and I really find myself disgusted by the fact that I come back here more often than I should, but in the end it's just the way it is, though there are small things you can do to counter it, even if not completely.
You can't really control it and you're always going to find alternative sources even if they axe you out of here. Coomer, thisvid and the /bbw/ board will always be here. A good, compatible partener is not so easy to come across.
What I found working for me is just trying to fake it till you make it, if you know what I mean. Just try and force yourself to feel genuine happiness and connection with the people around you, especially with your girlfriend, and find joy and satisfaction in moments that are not related to feedism, even if that means cutting back on porn or even eliminating it completely for a couple of weeks. It's hard, I know, but don't make it harder than it has to be by beating yourself up over it. Sometimes it's just a bad day, a stressful Monday at the office, and you come here to decompress.
The shame cycle is especially hard to get over but I trust that with perseverance and a good heart you'll eventually manage it OP.
I don't know honestly if I'm giving this advice to you or myself but I hope it all works out for the best for you.
Thank you for listening to my pep talk