>>83344
It helped me to watch and masturbate for hours, even days, drunk or sober. Hour-long videos of people like Adeline or Jae eating and eating, watching them burp, sweat, or have to eat, seeing detailed photos of their folds and their rooms. Stories about experiences with fat people, listening to them and watching them. Observing men and women as they live, in documentaries and in real life. Learning about their obesity-related illnesses or imagining what a person has to go through to pick up their phone or get something out of bed. Talking to some of them, buying them drinks, going to the mall, imagining what it would be like to live with them, comparing them to ogres, and more. And discovering that I like tall, chubby women, that I couldn't stand a life with someone like that, watching them eat and eat and almost wanting to throw up. Imagining what would happen if they fell, what would happen if they fell on me, or what it would be like to clean them up or find insects and grime in their folds. It took years, and it helped to talk to and go out with chubby, but not obese, girls. It's not so fun for me to go to a café just to order something to take home. Or even to hear a 6'3" (1.90m) woman weighing 300 pounds say, between mockery and disgust, that she can't imagine being with a fat, low-self-esteem blob who can't close their mouth or with whom you can't do anything fun like walk in the park.
Reality is always better, and despite everything, you have the real experience, even if you're a giant of 500 pounds or more, of feeling the hug or embrace of a thin girl your own height. I'm not going to buy two extra dinners for a night out, or a bidet for someone who can't reach their own bottom and have to clean it and find something half-digested, or scratch their back, or know they have a rotten tooth and can't go to the dentist alone, or can't walk for hours in a shopping mall, or hear them cry from joint pain or chafing or hunger, or watch you eat and wonder what they'd eat first, your seasoned fingers or what you're actually eating (although that is exciting). It's even easier to travel with a very tall person to the movies or an amusement park.
You live in Romania, I'm sure there are girls around 100kg and over 1.80m tall willing to go out with you and who give you that feeling of being with someone big.