100% serious question. How do you have normal relationships while having this fetish? I was dating a girl for almost 5 years - amazing face, great personality, very smart and capable, great partner. And I loved her. She started thin, and intentionally got chubby while we were dating (like 180lbs, but very very short), but I always thought about being with bigger girls like I had been before we met, and I could never stop thinking about it when we were out and a bigger girl walked by or something like that. I got her to let me fuck a bigger girl once every 6 months, and ended up meeting this perfectly proportioned, very pretty 380lb girl - like the hottest hourglass build I'd ever seen in my life but bigger tits, plus a thin, pretty face, and also very well adjusted for a girl that size. She went to college and had a real job, had a real personality with common interests and all that. She also let me do some fetish stuff like go to movie theater and see how she couldn't fit or see how her hips touched both side of my bathroom doorway at the same time. We didn't click quite the same as with the smaller girl, but it felt like winning the lottery for us to get along pretty well and I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking perfect she was physically. It felt like a perfect situation so I broke up the girl I was dating, but then every time I would fuck the big girl, I would get crazy post nut clarity and go into a doom spiral for giving up the emotional connection with the smaller girl. So I'd end it with the big girl and go back to the smaller girl. But then every time I went back to the smaller girl, I thought about bigger girls. I went back and forth a few times and now I think I blew it up with them both, and I also feel like a total asshole for doing it to them. I feel like such an idiot for ending it with the smaller girl, but I just can't fucking stop thinking about this stuff and the idea that I'd never fuck another really fat girl for the rest of my life was giving me insane anxiety. This situation has been a complete nightmare for everyone involved, and it's totally my fault, and it's basically ruining my life. What the fuck do you do? Can you really expect to find a well adjusted, smart, life partner quality girl at >300 pounds? Are you guys optimizing for sex first and emotional connection later? Are you meeting thinner girls you really connect with and helping them gain weight? What about the fact that being >300 pounds is inherently unhealthy - do you just accept the risk? Do you feel guilty for encouraging something against your life partner's health? If I somehow repair the relationship, the smaller girl could maybe get to like 200, but that's still not that big and I feel sorta bad for convincing her to do it, even if I think that she would be willing to. I don't know what the fuck to do.