My wife is 5’9” and fast approaching 240, definitely a grazer and into body contrast, I’m thin but have put on like 20 lbs. I just do push ups and sit ups like every night and it helps us have wildly different builds. Agreed on the size there, 240 lbs is a lot when it’s on top of you. She said she’s done dieting and is okay with getting “really fat” and just wants to pig out all the time, so I’m learning a lot of cooking lol.

What surprised me? That my wife, despite her size (5'8, 300 lb), she actually eats quite normal. Adjustments I needed to make? Actually none, except choosing lighter hikes when we go on holidays.

>>87935 I think the eating also surprises me for the most part. As the poster said above, I think the key is just the grazing (and liquid calories). I can get away with making normal, even healthy meals at lunch and dinner and my wife will still manage to add all those surplus calories throughout the rest of the day which is pretty great. Technically with my wife's sedentary lifestyle, she only really needs like 2100 calories a day to maintain her weight; that's really not a lot of food when you're an active man. It's also what makes dieting for them so hard, going from the normal big surplus to eating like 1/3 of that is hellish.

You are so right about the weight thing. I feel like most of us are conditioned to think that someone isn't THAT big based off looks alone, but it's a totally different story irl. I was with a girl and she was short, 180 pounds. She felt heavy when she was laying/sitting on top of me and it felt like I was being crushed. Also like you said, she felt big too and there was much to grab.

My wife is 340lb so pretty big in the scheme of things (of normal people). Diet wise, she's a bit of an emotional eater. So she'll get a massive amount of food after being upset. She is pear shaped so her hips overflowing car seats and chairs is fairly normal. We usually pay a bit more attention to where we sit at a restaurants but it's not too bad. Given her size, it really puts in perspective how massive some of these women are. Seeing on a screen and in real life are two different things. I feel like we get somewhat desensitised to it.

How do you guys handle clothing? One of the big first world problems I have is that my wife has been putting on a lot of weight recently- like 40 pounds in the last year. I'm going to try and ride the hot hand so to speak and let her keep gaining, but she's reaching a point where none of her clothing fits anymore. Conceptually it's great, but I kind of sucks that she goes out in public in a XXL T shirt and baggy pants; I'd prefer she had clothing that made her feel confident and attractive. Of course, anything really form fitting gets outgrown in a couple months, so I'm curious how you guys deal with it.

>>87885 My wife is currently 450-500. I can tell you it’s hard to do anything “fun”. We discovered this year that she officially outgrew baseball stadium seating. Concerts same story, either it’s a seat with arms and it hurts to squish in, or it’s folding chairs that are too close together (not to mention she’s scared she’ll break). We try to get seats on the aisle at concerts and she manages. Little things you don’t think about…she’s too fat for regular shoes (she has REALLY fat feet and cankles), and can’t put on socks or shoes anyway so she wears “fancy” flip flops 95% of the time (which are broken down after wearing for 6 months). Her neck is too fat for regular necklaces and she had to buy an extender for a nice emerald one I had bought her. Even cars are affected by her weight. My car - a Dodge Durango - she crushed the side of the driver seat that controls the seat position so a sharp metal bar sticks out. She needs seat belt extenders for both my car and her car (she crams herself into a Toyota Camry). One other thing I noticed is that her Camry gets about 45-46 mpg when it’s only me driving, and less than 40 when she’s riding. I’m sure I’ll think of more little things if you want me to.

>>88065 Damn I'd love to hear more about this if you have anything. I love hearing about these life-alteringly fat moments. Does she need a cpap at night if her neck is that fat? What are clothes at this point - lots of stretchy stuff and dresses basically?

>>88068 She should have a cpap yes but doesn’t use one. I can hear her gasping at night sometimes. Clothes, she can’t shop at the plus size section of regular stores currently, only some stuff at lane Bryant and Torrid. (She’s like a size 30 I think, but she rarely wears anything but leggings and 5xl shirts anymore, and the occasional dress). Bras dig into her back fat so she rarely wears them.

>>88065 Wow that's amazing- I'd love to hear more too. I'm curious about any health effects she has if you're willing to share. The shoes thing is so real- my wife is only half the size of yours, but she chews through footwear constantly. I used to get so annoyed with how many $150 pairs of shoes she'd be buying until I realized it was her weight causing it.

>>88070 Honestly, her only main issue is joint pain. Especially her hips. She has to use a scooter anytime we go out if they have one.

My woman needs to relieve herself in the shower because she’s too wide for the toilet and can’t reliably get her asshole over the opening and clear of her girth. She’s concerned this is embarrassing, and is worried it’s one more thing keeping her more or less house bound but idk it’s all turning me diamonds. She already get her check from the govt for the mental stuff keeping her back so I don’t think it’s a huge quality of life issue.

>>88070 She bought a $150 pair of Hoka’s because supposedly they’re the most fat friendly shoe (pretty much slip on tennis shoe), they lasted two weeks and she had crushed one side completely down because she walks on the sides of her feet because her legs are so fat. The furniture she’s broken since we’ve been together…when we were first dating she was bigger than she is now, she completely destroyed my box spring and bed frame. Blew out the motor of a motorized loveseat that couldn’t lift her legs. And broke two extra heavy duty camping chairs rated to 800 lbs.

>>88076 Living the dream man living the dream

>>88065 As for shoes, if she wears sport shoes - select ones for men.

My long distance girlfriend is somewhere above 450lbs, complete shut in neet, and the biggest limitation that's made is for sure her mobillity. When we first got together she could walk 500m and even a little further without breaks, after 2 years of sitting on her ass, these days a quick 5 minute walk has her exhausted and gasping for air. During my recent visit I convinced her to leave the house a total of 3 times in a 3 week visit, I had to get out on my own often just to make the most of the trip, while she'd lay in bed at home napping or playing video games. The other reason I needed to get out and some fresh air was because of something u noticed immediately, the smell... second I walked through the door, whole place smelled sickly sweet, she'd made a small effort to clean the place with assistance of her mother who came to stay, yet there was old recycling and bins everything, with open snack containers and old drinks littering her desk. This isn't even mentioning her own smells, sticky folds of fat she'd go days without cleaning, not uncommon for rashes to follow. It really is the little things that surprise me, how much effort it takes her just to roll over or move around in bed, always followed by a series of grunts. She cooked a total of 2 times while I there, turns out her back is strained from her weight and lifestyle she can't stand without being in pain, always leaning on something when she has to. Shower chair is also a must by this point, all her clothes are old, baggy, and full of holes, but has no money for anything new, the entirety of her income going straight to almost exclusively junkfood. Recently she's been having concerns about health problems, her family have a history of heart issues, and has been talking about what sounds like palpitations and other sensations around her heart, along with being frustrated at having become nearly immobile.

>>88078 She used to be bigger than she is now, and she's already that huge? What made her lose the weight? And how do you feel about said weight loss? What was her diet like before the weight loss (Grazer or stuffer) and with the weight loss what's it like now?

>>88095 I’m the guy from the “Need Advice” thread if you saw that one. If not, she was over 600 when we met, had WLS in 2021 and got as low as 370 in 2023, then steadily gained back. She got over 500 recently but started a GLP1 in January and is now somewhere between 450-500. Seems like she’s settled around 460. Pre WLS she’d eat huge meals, now it’s mostly grazing and snacking.

>>88093 If you don't like sticky smelly folds of fat... Why would you even date a 600lb neet? Obviously by definition you're talking about a human being who has exactly fucking NOTHING going on except for being a smelly fat blob. It's like dating a dead corpse and then complaining about the silence.