One time there was these male beetles that were seen humping big brown beer bottles, because the beer bottles were bigger and browner than the female beetles could ever hope to be.
That's my guess for why women are hotter and sexier to me the fatter they are, even to absurd and impossible levels like this.
Like, they don't even look human anymore. It's almost like I'm more sexually attracted to the fat itself than the person buried underneath all of it.
I fantasize all the time about all the empty, wasted space in the universe being packed to the brim with soft, luscious, jiggling flab.