Hello all, I am trying to fix this pig girl looks weird. For the life of me, I cannot see what's causing her to look uncanny, but I can tell she looks uncanny. Any critiques would be appreciated

>>106520 Eyes are way too big and too realistic, should be cartoonier. Some of the little details are also too overly rendered - the camel toe, nipples, digits - like that meme of the cartoon wolf with the overly elaborate mouth giving away the artist's vore fetish. Try simplifying a bit with classic toons in mind.

>>106520 Like the other anon said, it's the eyes and feet (maybe the hands too), they look uncanny because of the higher amount of detail compared to everything else. They also look more human than they should, which adds to the uncanny feeling. I personally think the shape and size of the eye sockets look alright, it's the eyes themselves that need fixing, but you can adjust the sockets if you want to.

@CocoCryptid

>>106524 >like that meme of the cartoon wolf with the overly elaborate mouth giving away the artist's vore fetish.

>>106524 >>106569 Thank you. More can be done, but I have another issue. In picture 1, the right side is measured proportions to be more like a human face, but it doesn't look as good as the left side. Normally, the lips reach to the eye pupils, but before I redo the eyes, I wanted the lips to simply be at least the WIDTH of the nose bridge (inner eye corner to inner eye corner). However, it doesn't look right. It looks really bad if it goes to the pupil (bad enough that I don't see reason to upload an image). The mouth, when 1/1.6181 of the nasal bridge, looks a lot better, but uhhhh it's not even close to being real. IDK, I feel lost. I wanted a middle ground of cute anime face proportions and *vaguely* pixar/disney, not to be artistic, just to make the face bland but cute enough for others to goon to. >The nipples are overly rendered Sorry sirg that's not negotiable. Still though, thank you

>>106585 First of all, I want to tell you that's a sexy ass pig right there, good job. Second, you could try increasing the eye size so that the lips can reach the inner ends of the pupils without getting really stretched, although you probably do not want to do that. In my personal opinion, I say leave the lips like in the first picture. Even if it isn't accurate to real proportions, it looks cute. One more thing, I think the ends of the fingers are slightly larger than what they should be. Give it a look.

>>106569 >>106587 Are these eyes more acceptable? I appreciate the advice to go more cartooney, but I think that translates to "less anatomical, more stylized" so I'm trying out these 90's anime eyes. I can make them completely black, but at some point I need to get good at eye highlights Thank you again

>>106639 oh uh yes I saw the part about the fingers, that can be fixed but is an easy problem, just wanted to let you know that I did see that advice. The eyes are clipping but that's another chore for the future as well, no point in fixing it before the actual eye is final I have other human models (duo weight gain sequence) and if people are willing to give feedback I'd like to share those as well

>>106639 Yea, the eyes look nice. Adding to the part about the fingers, I think the index and pinky fingers may be longer than usual. Other than that, the pig is coming along nicely.

here are some guide to body types and weight gain by lordstormcaller

>>107458 Wildcat, you can find a higher quality version of LSC's old body type tutorial on Imgur. Why post the low quality ifunny logo version? I thought you were a real LordStormCaller fan. smh man

i found this

Hi, 3D pig anon here again. I made 6 pages of a comic so far, and have no experience with paneling, pacing, etc. There's no art critique thread on /draw/ (and they wouldn't allow a pig in any case), so if you would, any feedback if something feels off, or bad, etc

>>108082 pages 4, 5, and 6 so far

>>108083 Hi, one of the guys who gave advice. I'd say the structure looks good, even if you have no experience. An idea I have is that you should show the fruit women in the last panel of the first page as darkened figures (see image), so that their reveal in the fourth page works better (?). I'm not a comic designer so I might be spewing nonsense, but it's an idea. There are some typos, like "oggle" in the fifth page and "orslow" in the sixth. You might want to fix those. Also, keep consistency with the speech bubbles and text. The bubbles and text in the first two pages are different compared to the rest. I like the ones from the third page onward, but design them the way you want. Can't wait to see the rest of the comic, it's coming along very well.

>>108098 I put into practice the speech bubble consistency; speaking of texts, are these too many sound effects and movement lines? I don't have a draw pad so I can't do that fancy artist stuff of drawing the trembling lines like in >>107819 Thank you again for letting me dominate the thread a bit

>>108517 Hi again. I don't know what program you're using to make the lines and bubbles, but the trembling lines and the rest should be feasible with any brush tool in any art program. Your movement lines do look alright. You should add some subtle lines near her neck to indicate swallowing, perhaps some on the hose as well. Your speech bubbles are looking great. As for the amount of sound effects, I'd say that you have enough? The only part I think you have too many in, is the fifth panel (the bottom right one) of the first image, although I believe it's because the text for the SFX is too large. Try adjusting the size of some of the text depending of how loud or quiet they are so they fit without looking cluttered. If you feel it still looks too cluttered, you can remove some. I do like how you're using different fonts depending of the sound

>>108517 >>108717 It's me, again. I didn't want to fill that thread with my text, so decided to write here. The page dimensions and the panel sizes look okay. Like the other guy said, don't worry too much about them. People on mobile should see the pages just fine? I'm not exactly sure what the concern is. If you feel that the panels look too wordy or cluttered due to the text, you can try these: - Replace some of the sound effects with movement lines - Reduce the size of some of the sound effects - Make some of the sound effects less opaque - Position the text in better places - Delete a small amount of the sound effects if you think they're unnecessary My rule of thumb for writing and placing sound effects comes down to how much importance or emphasis the sound has. If the sound isn't important or it's quiet, the text should be small and/or very translucent. If the sound is very important or really loud, the text should be big and/or opaque. I left some examples of the tips I mentioned. The comic's looking great! Btw, what does the cream taste like?

>>108518 >>108740 I would like to use brushes more often, but I can't figure out how to make them not...grainy? Still trying to fix the aliasing. The first file is what I made friday. The second file is a work in progress with your advice (but still not done). I think the slurp-gulp is already too noisy, but the SFX needs to communicate she's guzzling it. I am trying 50% opacity with smaller font and wow, it looks much better. Thanks. If I could also ask for writing advice, I have a problem: -The pig slowly transitions from worry about weight gain, reluctant enjoyance, to pigging out (doesn't need to be witty or smart, just piggy indulgence) -The ice cream/bomb girl goes from exuberance, to ultimately panic that she can't stop. I am struggling on writing that believably. Files 1-4 are what I have so far. I'm worried that I already made her panic too much in the last file, last panel. It feels bad to write "I'm blowing up!" but I'm running out of alternate phrases, plus it's the same emotion repeatedly. I wanted to mix in other emotions as the panic is slowly turned up, but I JUST did arousal, and pleasure at gorging, I'm thinking a little anger next? "This damn gut is fucking heavy, just how much heavier is it going to get?" I will attach images in a second reply showing what I mean. Thanks again.

>>108740 >>108769 I don't want to try too hard to be Tolkien and a little corniness is ok in fetish art, but it still needs to communicate the emotional rollercoaster they're going through This was a shot I had planned for her complaining about the weight (juxtapose to the pig who is aroused at the feeling of heaviness, heft). Writing advice for things such as, anger-first/worry-second or worry-first/anger-second, doing it twice for the 2 panels, should they both sequentially the same, like A/B A/B, or A/B B/A For example, -Worry first, Anger second: "I-it's not stopping...gettin' kinda BIG...Stop tummy! STOP GROWING! " or -Anger first, Anger second: "I can't hold still with this damn JIGGLING BOULDER GUT. Oooh why won't it stop growing?" I think when she's fully naked it will finally click she's screwed, zero anger, all panic. Again, let me know your thoughts

>>108740 >>108769 >>108771 ah, sorry, in the first post, I removed a file so the post doesn't make sense. It's just the work in progress, followed by additional questions >What does the cream taste like? I was thinking of salted caramel and heavy whipping cream, with real vanilla, and MSG for the lulz

>>108769 Hi once again, I'm happy that my advice is helping. In terms of writing I don't have much experience (I apologize), but I'll try. In the last two panels of the last file (the one with the ice cream girl), you could do something like this (see image attached). I don't know how to put this at all, but I think these extra bubbles should keep the exuberance and add a subtle amount of concern. >>108771 Before I continue, I have some questions: Why doesn't the ice cream take the hose out of her mouth if she wants to stop? Is it because she'll lose the contest and the prize, therefore has to suck it up and push forward? Or is it because the cream is so good that her body doesn't want to stop? I'll assume it's the latter because of what one of the fruit girls said ("it's hard to stop, once you start"), although this also leaves me with another uncertainty regarding whether they're allowed to fully stop the flow by using the valve or not (because it'd technically count as forfeiting). Talking about valves, where are the pressure valves located? Anyways, I think she should go back and forth with concern and anger. The following is a short example I wrote (assuming the valve is next to ice cream girl's hand, and that her body doesn't want to stop). I doubt that this example fits with what you have already planned for the story, but it should help. Again, I'm not good with writing myself, so I apologize if it doesn't do a lot for you. "Oookay - Whew, I've gotten massive. I think this size is good enough. Pig girl over there looks like she's about to give up" [Puts a hand on the valve] "Haha... Hah... Why is it not stopping?" "I'm getting so massive, too massive... I need to stop now" [attempts to move the valve] "I - I said stop! Stupid thing, just stop the flow already!" "Why is it not stopping...? WAIT-" [turns towards the valve, realizing her hand doesn't want to close the flow] "Why am I not stopping!?" "I'm getting so fat... my mom's going to KILL me!"

>>108788 >In the last two panels of the last file (the one with the ice cream girl), you could do something like this (see image attached). I don't know how to put this at all, but I think these extra bubbles should keep the exuberance and add a subtle amount of concern. Hi, I think I put into practice what you said somewhat about the fading bubble panels in the file included >although this also leaves me with another uncertainty regarding whether they're allowed to fully stop the flow by using the valve or not (because it'd technically count as forfeiting). Talking about valves, where are the pressure valves located? aha well, I wasn't initially sure of how the plot would work when I started making it. I just liked the idea of tube feeding and panic. Technically they're allowed to slow down. The in-world justification is that it's show business, and the cuffs aren't REALLY holding them there, they can't spit out the hose at any time, and the "valve" is inside that only lets flow in when they want it by sucking on it, but their bodies rebel and keep drinking it (like in the page I just posted). Yeah it's stupid and overwrought, I tried straddling the bondage/tube feeding with full consent and the result was neither are too great. I do have a plan for it not stopping though, Their mouths bulge because their mouth still loves the cream, but they don't swallow. I had a gag about huge chipmunk cheeks and cartoony throat bulge when they inevitably lose the battle. Thanks, as always, for talking with me so much about this.

>>108790 Hi there. Those four panels look really good! You're improving a lot. I do wonder if you're planning to plump up the pig's boobs as well. > the "valve" is inside >only lets flow in when they want it by sucking on it Oh. Well, that solves things. I think that it'd be a good idea to show the ice cream girl slowly realizing that she can no longer control her body action (something similar to my dialogue example in my previous post), in contrast to the pig, who quickly notices as shown in the page you just sent. > I had a gag about huge chipmunk cheeks and cartoony throat bulge when they inevitably lose the battle. I dig this! That's a great idea. I enjoy seeing your progress, and I'm glad my advice is helping you.

>>108792 Yes, had gags about that as well ("I wonder why my breasts aren't getting bigge-oh ohh ~<3") as they start to squirm and inflate If you notice the black lines on the first image, they're too rectangular and not square, that's because I the breasts will shoot out like torpedo tits. See image 2. As the pig gets fatter, I prefer roundy melon breasts, but to differentiate the pig from the ice cream girl, she gets wider, flatter breasts. Image 3 is the initial shape, image 4 is what I'll go with I think. Image 5 shows the ice cream girl's final breast shape as we enter blob territory, but that's several dozen pages away I think

>>108816 Hi. The ideas you have are really good, and the images as well. I hope you can finish this. Are their cuffs going to break off? I'm asking because I think that, eventually, they're going to get so large that the cuffs will begin to clip through them. Maybe you could show them making remarks about how the cuffs are getting tighter and tighter, until they eventually snap open. Amazing work, as always.

>>108833 I can animate their cuffs being tight then snapping off, I was just being lazy and saving it for later. Anyways, I guess here's the next page, add dialogue of her going GOD DAYUM before being reminded that she's next for wardrobe malfunction

>>108902 Hello. That's a really good page. You should add a continuous "Riiiiippp...." in the first panel, right before her pants give way to her ass. In the third panel (the bottom one), give pig girl's ass some movement lines, alongside wobbles and jiggles. Talking about pig girl, you should zoom out a bit more in the third panel so that her face is visible, it'd be great to see her reaction. Furthermore, you should move her arms and hands into a "shocked" or "surprised" position, I'm sure that feeling your pants suddenly burst open would yield a noticeable reaction.

>>108904 Thanks for your suggestions, needs more sound effects but I am listening

>>108962 Amazing work. You nailed the pose and expression. It took me some time to notice that the ass shot in the second panel is from the TV hooked to the camera behind pig girl's ass. I think a slight static effect on the TVs would be great, although that means you'd have to re-take the shots for previous panels that include them. Also, you could add commentary from the fruit girls in it (and the third panel) Something such as "Looks like things just got more interesting!", or "This is the kind of content we live for, folks".

>>108962 Something else, you forgot to add the remains of her pants in the third panel.

>>108969 >>108968 Thank you for pointing out it needed to be obvious that the TV screen was being shown, I believe I fixed it. Pants are also in the second shot. And another file before the belt pop mini-arc.

>>109034 >>108788 Also I wanted to speak to this image with the bubbles >W-WHOA >I'm getting real big... >Aah~, Haha... The page is already uploaded and before I try to swap out edits, I was wondering if that text would be good here on the panel I just uploaded. My reasoning is 1) She comments on the pig blowing up 2) She is also blowing up at the same time I want to keep the spirit of the lines, but I made this backshot to show width, and also star some of the other body parts that swell up such as backfat. I wanted a line about how her backfat is pinching over her belt. I will 100% go with "im getting real big, aah, haha" but I need a line that says she needs to worry about herself (right following after the comment on the pig). I was thinking: [previous page] >But Dayum, that's one big booty, she's blowing UP [left side blank space] >So am I, I'm getting real big... >aah >haha [right side blank space] >ow, hah >My backfat is pinching (belt hint) [next panel, shot of muffin top over belt buckle, stomach obviously larger than last page] >This belt is suffocating me (belt acknowledgement) >I need to get this thing off [third panel, close up of hands fiddling with belt] >come on come on fuck, all this flab in the way [next page, belly even larger, belly hanging over bottom panels] >I-I CAN'T GET IT OFF >it just keeps growing I hope this doesn't come off as "write and plan this comic for me" but I really want to sell the anxiety and "oh shit oh fuck" feeling, need to pre-screen

>>109034 Yep, you fixed the problem. Nice work. >>109035 I'm assuming ice cream girl took at look at her own body and then made the remark, right? If so, then the part that she viewed should be the one getting focused. Now the question is, what part of her body did she look at for her to say the comment? Was it the belly, or was it the back (and ass)? Since the back is the one being shown, I'll assume it was her ass. Plus, the previous comment leading to this one was caused by her looking at pig girl's ass, further emphasizing that answer (ICG looked at PG's ass and then her own). Maybe you could change the shot so that you can see ice cream girl looking at her butt? Though a potential issue is that it may obscure the back rolls you want to show. >but I need a line that says she needs to worry about herself (right following after the comment on the pig). I decided to rewrite the last ones to subtly build up the anger mixed with panic. Let me know how you feel about them. [next panel, shot of muffin top over belt buckle, stomach obviously larger than last page] "Maybe my gut needs a bit of space.. haha.." "Let me take this off..." (acknowledging the belt) "...right now" [third panel, close up of hands fiddling with belt] "Getting.. REALLY uncomfortably tight in here!" "fuck, all this flab is in the way" "I need to hurry..." [next page, belly even larger, belly hanging over bottom panels] "come on, stupid thing!" "GET OFF, GET OFF" "oh dear oh god it KEEPS GETTING BIGGER" By the way, do you by any chance have Discord or any socials? I don't know how much longer this thread will last until it eventually disappears. Though if you wish to remain as an anon, that's fine.

>>109038 I need to make a discord for nsfw purposes, atm I have my irl one. You can DM me on twitter in the mean time: https://x.com/HeavyWomanGuy My first video was of an android getting fat animation as I could not model faces that well, the fruit bots you see are reused models: https://x.com/HeavyWomanGuy/status/1771746864527773822 Da: https://www.deviantart.com/heavywomanguy Fa: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/heavywomanguy/

>>109038 Is this what you mean?

>>109054 I originally meant that you could extend the original backshot so you could see her face as she looks at her back without adding anything else, but works better, a lot better. For the commentary above the first shot, it could be something along the lines of "And looks like our dear Mabel isn't the only one with a blooming [some fetish-y way to say 'ass']", but again, you can write something else.

>>109062 Oops. In the first paragraph, it's meant to be "[...], but that works better, a lot better". The example you showed is great, basically. Also, I checked your profile, and turns out I've seen your work before! You're really talented.

>>109062 >>109069 Thanks, as always. I have yet to add trembling lines and sound effects, but I think this is the final panel more or less. I't start the other panels, but wanted to run this by you guys

>>109105 Yea, looks awesome.

>>109123 Hi again. I really like these two panels, all of the progress you've been making has been great. Since the belt snapping is meant to be the climax of all the panic built up over this small sequence, ice cream girl has to look very shocked. You should make her pupils and irises in the second page significantly smaller, and add a noticeable amount of blush on her face (see first image). You could also reduce the pupils and irises to simple, tiny, black dots. I was also thinking of the eyes bulging out in shock (see second image), but it looks goofy.

>>109125 Meant to say "pages" in the first paragraph instead of "panels". Whoops.

>>109125 I actually agree with you 100%, and I can create many ranges of "AAAAHHH", but I purposely toned down the facial expressions (even though I agree that I like the 'of fuck' faces) because people hate it

>>109128 Unbeknownst to the contestants, the cream was also laced with shrooms.

>>109129 stealing that

>>109130 At least they won't go home complaining about their weight, until they stop seeing colors and start seeing mounds of flab. Anyways, if you need more feedback, I'll be glad to help.

>>109131 made some modifications