>>258960
like anon above me already wrote, your lines have no confidence, they're very chicken scratchy compared to Axl's cleaner strokes. that bra strap on the right is particularly bad.
fortunately, this is the easiest issue to fix: simply turn up the stabilizer value on your pen tool. if your drawing software doesn't have this, start using one that does. experiment and try to find a sweet spot value that works for you. a value that's too high will introduce too much disorienting delay between your penstroke and the line appearing if your gpu has to work too long to generate it. also, practice doing every line you draw in one clean, fast stroke. this can be grindy at times and you have to accept that sometimes it can take up 10, 20, 50 tries to get a line just right. but you get better at it the more you do it.
the way you utilize line thickness is also holding you back, especially when combined with your wiggly line work, as you now have two flaws bringing attention to each other. the worst offender is her cleavage, there is no reason for it to be depicted that thick. the thickness variance you display in general is a bit all over the place. to fix this, I'd recommend doing only thin lines for now and slowly working your way up to introduce thicker ones as you get a better hang of the general rules of it. copy other artists to develop your understanding of how to use line thickness (among other things) in a way that's more aesthetically pleasing. I would advice against tracing, as that involves your observation much less, making it harder to memorize what you're trying to learn.
your shading isn't doing you any favors either well, as you're combining two shading techniques which makes things visually confusing for the viewer. the pen shading clashes with the tone shading, especially because you've neglected to add the latter on her skin.
lastly, as you start to get better, I'd advice introducing a little "intent" to your scenarios every once in a while, something that's a little more novel than "fat woman strikes a pin-up pose", but that is more of a personal advice. I think you have a decent foundation here, and I'd be interested to see you take a crack at something more expressive.