While I don't feel consumed by the fetish, I also am married and so I don't harbor a belief that the right USSBBW feedee is out there for me to find. And that is where this fetish can be a problem for the single - and this is a general problem for young people now, it seems - is that perfection/the ideal is becoming the enemy of the great. Whether it is women who think the perfect man is out there who will tick every one of her huge list of boxes or a man here who is trying to find a feedee who is going to let them feed them to an unrealistic size, getting too into the feedee scene can be dangerous to their sanity if not properly managed (i.e., be realistic and happy if you find someone who ticks most of your boxes, unless you are some uber-Chad that women drool over and have some super-high-paying job that would allow any woman to choose the lifestyle and career she wants).
For you guys, I would counsel not only being less picky, but also get a good idea of what is going to keep a woman fat. Just cause she is now, doesn't mean she always will be. From my experience, you want someone who is a little "simple" - not dumb as a sack of rocks (though that would probably work too), but one who is going to be a little easier to manipulate and who won't care so much about what others think. A smart, forceful woman will always do what she wants and hang the consequences, which is fine if she wants to devote herself to getting fatter, but this is where you gotta get realistic and realize that it is pretty much impossible to find someone like that. And the women who are chubby now and gain some weight in the relationship are unlikely to become USSBBWs. There's a big difference between going up a few sizes and growing into the territory where you cannot find clothes and get winded just putting on their socks (if they even can do that). Even going from 150 to 300 is unlikely, unless they are very young. Psychologically, there is a big gap between being chubby and SSBBW size, and very few smart women are going to let that happen to them. Someone a little simpler, though, probably won't think much of it and won't get bothered by getting so fat (though even that is not a guarantee). And also make sure that they are comfortable in their body and not traumatized by being fat. That may be repressed for a while, but at some point it will rear its ugly head and they will take the easy way out with a GLP. I know from experience on that, and am depressed because of it.
And it can also be unhealthy for those in a relationship as well. It's great to have a community to talk about these things and our fantasies that our partners do not share, but seeing all the fat women out there who are sizes you wish your spouse was can depress you. I mean, my wife was 385, and in what world should that be too small? When I was in my 20s, a woman that big was pretty much unheard of (and would probably be at least middle aged), where now that is "run of the mill" fat and there are plenty of 400+ pounders in their 20s (and even 500+ pounds is not uncommon). I think what you see greatly influences how you perceive your partner, and if there were few women over 350, I would have thought 385 was enormous. But you see so many 500+, 600+ women out there that you see that as the benchmark, and even though 385 is still big, it seems small in comparison to what you perceive as an achievable ideal.
So feeder chat can be good as long as you don't let it become all-consuming, and same with feeder porn, insofar as you can get your rocks off to someone who is your ideal who you will probably never meet in real life (I don't mean that model in particular, but someone that size). And by all means try to find the ideal woman. But make sure you have other outlets/hobbies/ways to have fun so that you don't become some troll who spends all his time on message boards talking about feedism (not only is that not good for you, but you are almost certainly going to turn off that ideal woman when you meet her because you won't know how to contain your excitement for something she has been told for so long by so many is disgusting and unhealthy).