I've been going back and forth between two girls, and figured that only people here could really understand why this is such a hard decision. I've been seeing the first girl for almost 5 years, and it's generally been great. She's extremely pretty, very feminine, and our emotional connection is amazing. She's a responsible, successful person who can take care of herself and stick to commitments she makes. Unusually rational for a woman. We've talked a lot about building a life together, and we can truly be partners in that. I've been very open about the fetish stuff, and she entertains it quite a bit, so the sex is very good. For example, she'll do things like talk about how fat she'll get and xyz scenario that will create. But she's still pretty small (<180). She's gained some weight since we've been together and is into chubby territory, and she's said she'd keep gaining into very fat territory (has entertained 300, and she's very short), but it might take years and could always come with health problems. And even if she did, her build (most of weight goes to stomach and hips) probably won't allow her to reach the truly massive scale.
She's let us be open (mostly just me seeing other girls - not a bad deal) sometimes because I told her I needed to fuck fatter girls, and I ended up meeting this 380 pound girl with a pretty, thin face and an incredible build. Bottom heavy pear with giant tits and somehow still an hourglass. Unironically built like picrel but thinner face. Best sex of my life, and very willing to lean into the fetish things. For example, went to a movie theater to see how she didn't fit in the seats and had me rub her belly under her jacket while she ate popcorn and chocolate. She's also very well adjusted for someone that size, with a real job and interests and all that. And no health problems at all. I think she could realistically get up to 450 or 500 before she really had issues navigating the world. Basically what I'd always dreamed about whenever I fantasized about meeting a giant girl in the future. But she's a bit awkward, and I felt more "alone" when spending time with her. Unsurprisingly, anyone who gets to that size by accident has some emotional baggage, and that's not a dealbreaker, but it might get old when I'm not horny. I think the emotional connection could build over time, but it'd be more of a caretaker feeling than an equal partner, and there's no guarantee it would ever reach what I've had with the first girl.
But now I have to choose one, and I'm been making a mess of it, breaking up with one to go be with the other and then back again. Every time I'm with my longterm girl, I'm wondering if I'm passing up my only chance to really experience everything I've fantasized about since I was a teenager. Maybe being successful and all that won't matter if I can build this girl into the 500 pound fantasy we've all dreamed about, and I could totally reorient my life to prioritize that?
But when I'm with the big girl, I feel like I'm throwing away the closest emotional bond I'll ever build, and that I'll be emotionally alone just because I wanted to fuck a giant girl. The post-nut clarity has been pretty bad, but idk if that would go away over time, and I can't stop thinking about her body when I'm not with her.
This site might be biased, but has anyone dealt with something similar? I've seen quite a few anons on here talking about the fetish doing more harm than good. I never thought I'd actually be in a scenario where I met a pretty, well adjusted, massively fat girl, but maybe it's still the better choice for my long term satisfaction to prioritize a deep, enduring emotional connection? Obviously in an ideal world the longterm girl would just gain up to the same size, but it's much easier to say she will than to actually do it, and who knows what health problems could come up.
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